Day 20

Today's handstand was in yoga. It was nice not having to remind myself-and just let someone tell me when.
The other night I was lying in bed, about to go to sleep, when I remembered I hadn't done one yet. I contemplated not doing it and was overcome with a looming sense of disappointment in myself if I didn't. I was so annoyed. There have a been more than a few times where I have done a last minute stand, but this was the first time I felt put out. I had to get out of bed, find a wall to kick up against and grudgingly, just do it.

It is so much easier in yoga class. For one thing, my body is warmed up and anticipating activating my arms, shoulders, and core to achieve blissful balance. Secondly, the floor is clean.  While there may be stray sweat droplets nearby, it is not covered in dirt, dog hair, crumbs, and dust.  Thirdly, there is vast amounts of space. So much wall space! At home, I have been kicking up against the front door because that is the only place in the house where there is nothing on the wall and I won't kick anything on my way up.  That space is quickly invaded-of course-by two dogs who are overjoyed that my nostrils are now at tongue level.

I'm not complaining.

It is just another awareness.

I still have nine more days. While I have enjoyed the practice at home, it isn't the same as being in class. I'm not quite sure how to be okay with that, or if I need to be. It also makes me question how successful I will be with next month's goal. This is very discouraging!

Maybe I just need to keep my house clean.