This morning, at about 5 am, I realized that today was my last day. I hadn't anticipated today. I hadn't been waiting for it. Usually, my desire to break from the 'habit' leads me to a lot of thinking about the topic, such as what I've learned and reflections on the experience. I didn't really do that this time, I think, because I wasn't anxious for it to be over. That isn't to say that it was easy all the time, but there was less pressure to "complete" everyday.
In some ways, I'm sad this is my last day, because I know that tomorrow, I will have a lot to be happy about. But, so it is....
1. Yoga. I know, I know, yoga always makes me happy. However, today was especially wonderful for three reasons: First, my teacher is back. I was reminded as to why Saturday mornings are my favorite part of the week; Second, my balance and strength were amazing. I think this is because I wasn't weighed down by the day, it was bright and early; Thirdly, I did something I've never done before, which is always an empowering way to start the weekend.
2. I think I found my next read aloud book. I was a little concerned about this because we finished Matilda and I had no idea where to go next. Thank you Lois Lowry.
3. Vegetable rolls and Spicy Tuna rolls. I visit Fish King about once a week for their Spicy Tuna rolls. I'm a little bit addicted to them. I also love their Veggie rolls, but they rarely have them. Today they did. I got both and ate both: one for lunch and one for dinner.
4. Haircut! Today was all about me. I got a lovely haircut from a lovely woman. We are going to add color next week.
5. Half-marathon prep. Since I can't tout completing a Half tomorrow (as my 29 days will be over) I will revel in the excitement of the preparation today. I picked up my race badge and free t-shirt today. I'm nervous and excited, but ready to achieve another first.
Upon reviewing my happiness over the past twenty and nine days, I see that I find happiness in food, exercise, and work. My yoga/running routine keeps me sane. I love my job, a luxury I don't take for granted one bit. And I love food. I used to be afraid to say that out loud and was envious of people who did. But I get it now and I'm not afraid.
What I didn't appear to appreciate enough (or as much as I thought I might) was my family. I really believed Bugsy and Oskar would be the highlight of every day. The things I appreciate about Jesse now are so ingrained in me, that I don't think to express them anymore. As consciously as I have been thinking about 'the positives', never once did the moments when I thought about how incredibly lucky I am enter into that. I don't think that is a bad thing. I think it is a level of comfort, ease, and familiarity with him. I have had many, many years to realize how lucky I am. Maybe, the other part of it is that I have found my relationship with him to be something I take seriously enough to not make public. Once, very early on, a friend said to me that she knew this relationship was more meaningful and important to me because I didn't talk about every single detail with others. I didn't expose it, I respected it. So while, yes-on occasion, I will vent a bit-my relationship is one area in which I am rather private I guess, which, at the end of the day, is a good thing.
With that. I continue to love eating, exercising, and teaching. I also love my man and my dogs.
I also have no idea what to do for next month. Any ideas?
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