Day Twenty-nine

Done and done.

Here is what I noticed: over the course of the last 29 days I was struck by how difficult it was to remember that there was something very specific I was supposed to do.  Particularly since I was on summer vacation. I really didn't have much to keep track of.  It is interesting to think about habits in that way.  Maybe, by nature, a habit is something that is not intentional, making it hard to force one upon one's self.  I guess the goal-or intention-would be ritual.  This takes some sort of devotion, diligence, and patience I suppose, whereas a habit seems to be something that manifests. In some instances, they are probably not mutually exclusive.

I am also intrigued by how not therapeutic it all was. Maybe this is the ritual part of it. When expected to 'perform' each and every day, the mental benefit is muddied a bit. I am also aware that it could have been more so, and I am a little disappointed in myself about this. For example, today's stand was actually a series: a  hand stand, head stand, and forearm stand. I waited until I got home from yoga to do them, so I would be warm and wouldn't hurt myself. I asked Jesse to take pictures so I could have some documentation. I became amazingly irritated-and totally aware of how counter productive it all seemed-by small things impeding the picture taking process. I becoming very upset, and snappy, all for the sake of my last stands. That hardly seemed like the point of all this.

Nonetheless, I will accept it as an awareness. I will contemplate what this says about me as a person. How does this reflect the way in which I walk through my days?  My life?

I will also say though, that my various stands got so much better. While I still use the wall as a guide, I have a lot more strength to keep my balance once I separate from the wall. Maybe this is what I should be reflecting on. In fact, I am most proud of the most recent pose I did. It is called Scorpion Pose. It is not quite the full pose (http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/29_2008/scorpion.jpg) but I got very close. I had never been able to do that until today. In my Saturday yoga class I was almost able to do it on my own, so I practiced when I got home. Then today, I did it! Part of my above mentioned irritation came from the fact that Jesse didn't seem to get a picture of that exact moment.  I suppose that made it all the more about 'the process' and 'being present' and 'staying in the moment.'  Essentially, all that is Yoga.

In any case, it was an immensely satisfying accomplishment.  I guess I couldn't have asked for a better way to end these twenty and nine days.

With that, I'll see you September 1st!