Okay. I went to yoga today and it was amazing. Yoga is usually pretty amazing. I love my teachers. I am beginning to love all the folks, the regulars, who constitute a community that I am undoubtedly becoming a part of. I know their names. I know some of their stories. It is bizarre, as these are mostly middle-aged to retire-aged, who know one another outside of the gym scene. I am the dyed-hair, no kids, youngin' (comparatively) who slinks in for a few signature classes and some treadmill time. They seem suspicious, which may be my insecurities, but they are also so incredible kind. They ask me questions, they chat as if we know each other well because, after all, we've been part of the same community for almost two years. They make small talk. They strike up small conversations while stretching on our yoga mats or wave a friendly hello while climbing the stair master. They are so good at it, and I suck.
But then....
There is this dude. He is the gatekeeper, the guy who buzzes you in, hands you a towel, and greets you each time to enter the facilities. He is friendly enough. He sort of aggressively shouts "Hello" whenever I push through the turnstile. At first I took it personally. I assumed that his over-enthusiastic greetings were a mockery of my snotty-seeming shyness. I thought maybe he thought I was stuck up, or self involved, or "better than." I tried to be nice and respond in kindness to his loud hellos.
Then he tried to learn my name.
To enter the gym, you have to scan your card which - once accepted - opens the turnstile. When one's card is scanned, their name and picture show up on a screen that is monitored by the towel/greeting/gatekeeper staff. He would look at my name and try saying it. I got the usual "Hi-potty-yuh" a few times. Once I corrected him, he made an attempt each time I arrived, but he still never got it right. Each time I would remind him of the correct pronunciation and he made an honest effort each time he saw me. Then one day, he got it. It was like he was so excited, that now whenever he sees me, he shouts it. "HI HYPATIA!" It is nice, I guess, but it seems almost passive aggressive. Sometimes I won't say hello (well, actually I never say hello) but particularly when he's talking to another 'guest' and he'll make a point to shout at me as I'm walking into the gym room. Okay, I thought, maybe my lesson from this is to make an effort to make small casual conversation, even just a friendly hello, to people who are at work while I am on my leisure time. That is fair. I should do that. I certainly didn't want to come across (in my best bourgeois voice) as though I have no time for the help. However...HOWEVER...he is just being as ass now. For one, he now says 'hello' whenever he sees me, even if not in a natural greeting interaction. While I'm leaving and walking out of the building he'll shout a 'hello' and introduce me to his daughter. Or today, while I was on the elliptical, deeply involved in the book I was reading, he was barked 'hello' so loudly that it startled me. On top of these annoyances, he has cajoled another greeter person into doing the same thing. Now there are two dudes who mockingly say my name when I come to the gym. They use that tone that boys in middle school used for euphemisms for boobs "Nice teeth Hypatia" except now that tone is with my name. My name.
I find it offensive. Maybe that is my own deep-rooted issue, but they piss me off and I, very quickly, look past any opportunities for personal growth and just want to slap those snarky boys. So that is where my small talk will stop. Maybe at some point over these twenty and nine days I will find some benefit from being nice to them. But for now I will reserve my efforts for those who seem to truly care, or at least have some semblance of kindness and courtesy for those who are finding their way as a member of the community.
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